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DIVORCE You are Divorced! Divorced! Divorced! These have become the most dreaded three words that any Muslim woman can hear in her lifetime, for they signify not only the end of her marriage, but a hard and difficult road ahead where she has to re-build her entire life when the only foundation she has spent years building has just fallen away. Can it really be so simple! Can years of building, sharing and loving be shattered beyond repair by the mere utterance of words?. Is it that God’s system which rules our lives and the universe fails us at this moment we need it most and leave a wife without a marriage and leaves children without a family?. Surely this cannot be the way of the Quran from which only happiness and justice can be wrought? Let us take a look together and examine this important, yet ignored topic from God’s divine inspiration, The Quran. 1st Rule of Divorce (4-Month Waiting Period): “Those who intend to divorce their wives shall WAIT four months; if they retract, then GOD is Forgiver, Merciful.” (2/226) The Quran decrees a “Waiting” or “Cooling Off” period measured by 4 months if a divorce is intended to take place. This period is to be used as a “buffer” in which a man and woman may settle there differences and re-think this action which will alter their and their children’s lives forever. 2nd Rule (Divorce may be Retracted ANYTIME Before 4-Month Interim): “Those who intend to divorce their wives shall wait four months; IF THEY RETRACT, then GOD is Forgiver, Merciful.” (2/226) At ANY moment during the 4-month interim the divorce may be retracted and the couple may settle their differences. In such a case the divorce is considered null and void and is not counted since the 4-month interim was not reached. 3rd Rule (No Sex, No Interim Period): “O you who believe, if you married believing women, then divorced them before having intercourse with them, then there is no interim period. You shall compensate them equitably, and let them go amicably.” (33/49) The exception to this rule is if a man has not had any sexual intercourse with the woman since marriage and only wishes to unull the marriage for whatever reason. 4th Rule (The Woman Shall NOT Be Evicted From Their Home): “O you prophet, when you people divorce the women, you shall ensure that a divorce interim is fulfilled. You shall measure such an interim precisely. You shall reverence GOD your Lord. Do NOT evict them from their homes, nor shall they leave of their own, unless they commit a proven adultery. These are GOD’s laws. Anyone who transgresses GOD’s laws commits an injustice against himself. You never know; MAYBE GOD WILL MAKE SOMETHING GOOD COME OUT OF THIS.” (65/1) Once a man and women have agreed that they will divorce, they must spend the 4-month waiting period TOGETHER living under the same roof and they are still considered man and wife in the eyes of God. The reasoning behind this rule is quite simple, God wants the couple to have every opportunity to think the matter over and reconcile their differences. If the man and woman separate from day one, then the chances of reconciliation are considerably slimmed. 5th Rule (Decision MUST Be Made IF 4 Month Period Elapses): “Once the interim is fulfilled, you must reconcile with them equitably, or go through with the separation equitably. You shall have equitable witnesses witness the divorce before GOD. This is to enlighten those who believe in GOD and the Last Day. Anyone who reverences GOD, He will create an exit for him.” (65/2) If the divorce has not been retracted before the end of the 4-month waiting period, then the couple must decide if they want to reconcile their differences and return to being husband and wife, or if they want to separate and consider this as a divorce. In case they decide it is a divorce, then it a requirement that fair witnesses are obtained to give testimony to such a decision. 6th Rule (This is All Counted as ONE Divorce): “If they go through with the divorce, then GOD is Hearer, Knower.” (2/227) If the man and women have gone through the steps above and not re-concieled their differences, then this is counted as ONE divorce. 7th Rule (If the Woman is Found to be Pregnant AFTER the 4 months, then the Divorce May Still Be Retracted): “The divorced women shall wait three months (before marrying another man). It is not lawful for them to conceal what GOD creates in their wombs, if they believe in GOD and the Last Day. If they are pregnant, then it is more just that they return to their husband’s if they both wish to make things right. The women have rights, as well as obligations, equitably. But men have more obligations. GOD is Almighty, Most Wise.” (2/228) A woman may not immediately remarry after the 4-month waiting period, but she must wait 3 more months to ensure that she is not pregnant by her husband. If there is a pregnancy found, then the divorce may still be nullified and the woman returned to her husband. 8th Rule (Divorce is Allowed a Maximum of 3 Times): “Divorce may be done twice. The couple either reconcile equitably, or go through with the separation equitably. It is not lawful for the husband to take back anything he had given her. However, the couple may fear that they may transgress GOD’s law. If there is fear that they may transgress GOD’s law, they commit no error if the wife willingly gives back whatever she chooses. These are GOD’s laws; do not transgress them. Those who transgress GOD’s laws are the unjust.” (2/229) “If he divorces her again (for the third time), it is unlawful for him to remarry her, unless she marries another man, then he divorces her. The first husband can then remarry her, so long as they observe GOD’s laws. These are GOD’s laws; He explains them for people who know.” (2/230) God allows a couple 3 times to remarry each other if they have passed the 4-month waiting period and still insisted on the divorce. But so as not to make God’s law into a mockery, people are not allowed to remarry if they have gone through the divorce process to its completion 3 full times. If such is the case, then it becomes forbidden for that man and women to be married together. The only way such a couple can be re-united is if the woman marries another man and then divorces him due to their own differences. 9th and Final Rule (Do NOT Play with GOD’s SYSTEM): “And if you divorce the women, once they fulfill their interim (4 months), you must reconcile with them equitably, or go through with the separation equitably. DO NOT reconcile with them to hurt them. And whosoever does this has wronged himself. DO NOT take GOD’s revelations in vain. Remember GOD’s blessings upon you, and that He sent down to you the scripture and wisdom to enlighten you. You shall observe GOD, and know that GOD is aware of all things.” (2/231) Tips from the Quran: In helping a couple to stay together to promote strong family bonds, the Quran gives a few suggestions for those who wish to take heed. Tip# 1 (Anticipate Events): “If a woman fears separation or desertion from her husband, the couple shall try to reconcile their differences, for conciliation is best for them. Selfishness is a human trait, and if you do good and lead a righteous life, GOD is fully Cognizant of everything you do.” (4/128) A couple must do what is in their power to stop problems from getting out of hand. To do this there must be sacrifice and a lack of selfishness on behalf of both parties. Tip# 2 (Try Various Methods BEFORE Divorce): “The men are made responsible for the women by what GOD has preferred them over each other and for what they have spent of their monies. The righteous women will accept this arrangement, since it is GOD’s commandment, and honor their husbands during their absence. And for those whom you fear separation, you shall: 1) try and talk to them, 2) abstain from the bed room, 3) leave them. If they obey you, you are not permitted to transgress against them. GOD is Most High, Supreme.” (4/34) Tip # 3 (Involve the Family): “If you still fear a separation between them, you shall appoint an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family; if they wish to reconcile, GOD will help them. GOD is Omniscient, Cognizant.” (4/35) Tip # 4 (Do NOT Let People Give You Bad Advise): “And if you divorce the women, once they fulfill their interim, do not advise them against remarrying their husbands if they have reconciled amicably. This shall be heeded by those among you who believe in GOD and the Last Day. This is purer for you, and more righteous. GOD knows, while you do not know.” (2/232) How many a home have been destroyed and a family separated because people decided to ignore GOD’s perfect system and let the words of men, scholars, and other innovators divert them from the only true path. Stay with GOD, for that is where happiness
Muhammad Latif Chaudhery