our Prayers? Question: Today I'm writing you for my personal problem. We are 4 sisters and my 2 brothers are younger than us, my eldest sister got married and I m married. I'm youngest one in sisters and sisters of 2nd and 3rd one are still not married, one is now of age 31 and other is of 30, we belong to middle class family, my 2nd sister did masters in Urdu literature and 3rd one did MS Ed and also masters in Urdu literature. My sisters are so cute, nice and we all try to be good Muslims. My eldest sisters got married 13 years before and last year I got married. In this period of 12 or 13 yrs we are praying a lot for marriages of our sisters, you don't know I tried to read as much as Tabeeh and so many verses and Navafil for that. My cousins got married in younger age, I just want to know why Allah is not listening to us, we are praying a lot, we ask forgiveness from Allah a lot but still all is going in vain. Why it happens. My parents are in not that much good health, my father is heart patient; my mother is always worried for my sisters, praying and crying in front of Allah. We don't know what sin we did and why Allah is not listening us, we are trying a lot from our side but still Allah doesn't forgive us. We are helpless; we have nothing in our hands. Even in nights, in Tahjad I tried to pray but still no result. I don't want to say I m disappointed, because I know Allah doesn't like that words. But still we don't have much energy in ourselves, we are tired, we want help of Allah mian. Tell us what should we do. I cannot see tension on my mother face, we don't have courage to face comments of people any more, please help us. I will wait for your response. Take care Answer: In life we are put through trials; some easy, some difficult. What will distinguish us will be our reactions to these ups and downs in life. When facing great adversity some of us buckle and collapse not knowing quite well how to get back up. That is when faith steps in. Your conviction, as you have developed it, is the essential element in dealing with these types of situations. Having a relationship with the Almighty will, insha'Allah, provide you with the strength to endure these struggles in life. Nevertheless, it is understandable the one goes through times when they feel alone and nowhere to turn to. It feels as if you seek God but God won't reply. It is an empty feeling and sometimes is the result of guilty feelings. One begins to ask, "What did I do?" Or they question their strength of faith. These are just two examples of many things the mind begins create. It is dangerous to place some sort of blame upon oneself for events that are not in ones control. In dealing with your specific situation the first thing I suggest that you all do is know that God hears those who call upon Him. Then, you need to rid yourself of guilty feelings. Keep in mind not all hardships are some sort of punishment for wrongs committed. Actually, a better attitude, especially if you know that you are a good person, would be to realize these trying times could be a blessing. Indeed, when one goes through a low point in life they come out of it strengthened, refreshed and more prepared with what life has to throw at him. These hard times may be a blessing in disguise, for the reason that I stated and consider that God maybe protecting you and your loved ones. Some of these things are hard to appreciate when one is in pain, however, when a person takes the time to think deeply of his condition he many a times will come to the realization of the wonderfulness of life. Marriage is an important part of life, however, the urgency some people place on it is unwarranted. There may be people who marry at an earlier age and others at a later age. This should not be a cause for stress. I can assure you God hears your prayers, however, just because you request something of God does not mean you will get it because God knows far more than you what is good. It may be His will to allow your sisters to marry at the right time when the right men come along for them. You are not being ignored you are being looked after. Your prayers do not go in vain, rather, I recommend you have patience and strengthen your faith. Believe that God will do the best for you; and really the result, if you ask God, will be what is best. Remember, praying for something will not make it magically happen. You too have to put some effort into getting what you want done. If your sisters want to get married then they should proceed in the most appropriate manner to achieve this goal. Lastly, it seems that you are in despair. Nothing could be worse. God is by your side and you have to know this. If you ask God for something and you do not receive this does not mean He hasn't heard or does not want to grant you your request. Rather, it is His Wisdom that decides what to grant. In times of struggle we lose focus of the big picture and become consumed by the little ones around us. If we can maintain the focus on overall scheme of life we will begin to understand and better deal with the smaller ones. I pray that you put your trust in God and not give in to the belief that He has abandoned you, but rather is there for you and your sisters guiding every moment. I pray that God strengthens you and grants you all the good things in life, that which you ask for and that which you don't and that which you don't recognize or forget. I hope I have clarified the issue. God knows best. Ronnie Hassan March 24, 2004