Title: Unsolicited Romance Question: I wanted to ask a very different question. my question is that if a girl likes a boy a little and never wants to commit any sexual act with him and the boy forcibly does an act like that. the girl doesn't stop the boy and unfortunately the boy kisses her. the girl at that time under the influence of shaitan does not mind it but later she gets confused. she never comes to know what to do. she asks forgiveness from god with full heart but cannot put that boy out of her mind because of the relation created. she tries her best to do so but fails. Whenever that boy comes in front she cannot control and she unconsciously does something wrong and later she repents. What is the solution and what is the punishment in Islam of the sin she has done. that boy is her cousin so she never tells her parents about it as it can ruin her reputation and may lead to her being isolated. Answer: The fact that she feels contrite and seeks the forgiveness of Allah exhibits that she is a good person at heart. However, there are certain inherent limitations that she is overlooking. I have delineated below some suggestions for her to act upon in order to get over with this blemish that may, God forbid, eventually cause the couple to be completely carried away. Sex is something that is found in our instincts. Try as we may, we can neither do away with it nor is it required. What is really required of us is that we observe the limits endorsed by the Shari'ah as well as our sense of morality. Because If this desire is not wisely checked, it is bound to lead the victims to crossing the limits set by the Almighty. In her case, the first suggestion I would like to put forward is that she should immediately stop seeing that boy in private. Whenever he tries to, she should get herself out in public. Sitting among the family members, no force or coercion will work. However, this is no permanent solution, as I feel, she is in love with him. Islam does not endorse an intimate relationship between a lady and a gentleman before marriage. However, if this happens, it is very much advisable that they should convert it into a sacred marriage bond as soon as possible. What she must do is that she should ask the boy to communicate this proposal through his parents to hers. She should make it very clear to him that the only way to her is through obtaining the approval of Allah and her parents. If this works out, she should be grateful to the Almighty for having a person in her life she herself wished to have. In case, it turned to be a mere player's game on the part of the boy or it does not work out for other reasons, she should submit to God's will. She should know that God had in His plans something better than the one sought for. I would personally wish to convey to her that she should keep in mind that God is her Creator and Master. Indeed, He loves her more than her real father. She should not disappoint her Lord above who is watching over her. Modesty and chastity is an asset that He has kept with her as a trust. She must guard it with all her heart and soul. Otherwise, on the Day of Judgment, He would surely hold her accountable for misusing the trust of the Lord of lords. Jhangeer Hanif April 30, 2003