Title: Sin with Spouse's Brother Question: I am a Muslim married female aged 25 years with 2 kids living in Jeddah (Saudi Arabia) with my husband and his younger brother since last 5 years. My husband's job involves traveling to Dammam/Riyadh for about 1-4 days every month. I felt that his brother (got married one year back-wife staying in home country) was having evil intentions towards me but he did not do anything openly. My heart was clean and I was very afraid of him. I had informed my husband about his intentions, and my husband used to get angry on me and tell me to avoid myself from him. He did not take any action against his brother. About 6 months back, the first open attempt he made was to touch my chest, for which I scolded him that I will inform my husband. He assured me that he will not do such thing in future; he will go perform Umrah and ask forgiveness from ALLAH. I didn't inform this incident to my husband thinking that he will repent. After coming back from Umrah , he started his evil intentions by caressing my body. I lost my control and could not stop him. He convinced me that ALLAH is gafoor-ur-raheem , and we are in such age that these things will happen, and he did not have any objection if my husband sleeps with his wife. He used to cry by saying that I love my brother very much and I started believing him and getting attracted. My biggest fault here was that I did not inform this incident to my husband. The same thing continued for some days, but I always used to tell him that such things are forbidden in Islam, and explained the consequences of such evil acts and told that my husband will divorce me if he comes to know. And you should never do adultery with me as this is the right of my husband only. He assured me, but one day he did adultery with me and forced me not to inform my husband. Then I went on vacation for 5 months. After coming back from vacation, I realized that I did a biggest sin and stopped such acts and was crying during nights and prayers seeking forgiveness from ALLAH. After one month I informed everything to my husband and convinced him that I will never repeat such mistakes again. Based on my love towards him and children's future, he decided not to divorce me and we agreed to keep this as secret. Now we are staying together away from his brother after a big fight. Kindly provide the answers for the following in the light of Quran and Islam. What should I do to get forgiveness from ALLAH? My Husband wants to take revenge with his brother. What are the guidelines from the Islamic point of view? Is my husband also responsible for the above sin, by not taking any action against his brother, when I informed him about his evil intensions? We are planning to perform Hajj this year; will ALLAH forgive us? Is it necessary to inform the parents about this incident? How should I get back my husband's confidence, to spend the remaining life? Anonymous Saudi Arabia Answer: In view of the extra-ordinarily personal nature of your question, I am holding back your name and am posting this question as an anonymous question. The referred incident, extremely tragic as it is, is a reminder of losing our ways by not paying due attention to the teachings of the Qur'an and the Prophet (pbuh). The Prophet (pbuh) has so eloquently warned about such a situation in the words: '[Being in a state of privacy with] the husband's brother is [to invite] death'. Your husband's prolonged absence from home leaving his young wife alone with his young brother was only to invite the tragic incident, even more so, after you had informed him about the apparent ill intentions of his brother. An extremely grave sin, indeed, has resulted, merely because of our carelessness and our undue confidence in the strength of character of our loved ones, which has led us to disregard the etiquette taught by the Prophet of God. This tragic incident should shake us and open our eyes to the importance of adhering to the most appropriate code of conduct - the code of conduct which not only guarantees success in the Hereafter but also provides us with a hedge against even getting close to crossing any of the limits prescribed by the Almighty - as given by the Prophet of God. With the foregoing points in mind, let us now turn to your specific questions: You ask: What should I do to get forgiveness from ALLAH? Humans are weak and can gravely falter in their lives. We all need a second chance. The Qur'an gives us the glad tidings that if we truly seek God's forgiveness and sincerely repent for our wrongdoings, then our Merciful Lord shall most indeed grant us a second chance. For repentance to be acceptable, it should be sincere and should entail a firm commitment, on the part of the sinner, to refrain from the act and also from any circumstances and situations that may lead to the act in future. Besides this, we should also try our best to do all the good deeds that we can. Offering supererogatory acts of worship and spending, as much as we can, in God's way are two acts that we should perform more frequently. We should consider it a great blessing upon ourselves to have been allowed a chance of seeking forgiveness as well as the desire to do so, after having committed a sin. After all, was it not possible that God would have taken away this chance and this desire from us? You ask: My Husband wants to take revenge with his brother. What are the guidelines from the Islamic point of view? There is no revenge for cases such as the ones under consideration. The best thing for your husband to do would be to take all appropriate and possible measures to ensure that such alluring circumstances are not invited or even allowed in future. While taking these measures, we should also realize that all the parties involved in the sin were equally human and, thus, equally prone to faltering. Rather than seeking revenge, let us pray that he too realizes the gravity of his sin and, using the time allowed to him by the Almighty, truly repents and sincerely seeks forgiveness for his sins. You ask: Is my husband also responsible for the above sin, by not taking any action against his brother, when I informed him about his evil intensions? I have already answered this question. I do think that your husband should have realized the gravity of the situation, which, unfortunately, he failed to. You ask: We are planning to perform Hajj this year; will ALLAH forgive us? Insha'Allah . The call of a suppliant heart is never rejected by the Merciful. While in the vicinity of the Ka`bah , don't forget to pray for your brother here that the Merciful would allow me and my loved ones to visit His House, while my limbs are still functional. You ask: Is it necessary to inform the parents about this incident? No. I would recommend that they should not be informed. The Prophet (pbuh) is reported to have said that a person should not declare those of his sins to others, which God has allowed to remain hidden. You ask: How should I get back my husband's confidence, to spend the remaining life? In view of the nature of the incident, getting back your husband's confidence is likely to take a long time. I commend him for not taking a rash action so far and hope and pray that in the coming days and years, God shall help you bind together more strongly, forgiving each other's mistakes and taking all necessary actions that would help each other live a life that would ultimately qualify you for the eternal bliss in the Hereafter. With fond regards and prayers Moiz Amjad January 15, 2003