Title: Secret Liaisons Question: I understand that fornication is a grave sin in Islam but I was wondering whether there could be any exceptions. In your response to a previous, similar, question you said fornication affects an entire society. But: if a couple who have the genuine intention of being married in the future are involved in sexual relations outside of marriage, are they still in violation of the rule? If no one outside of the couple knows about their relationship, or the fact that they are having a sexual relationship, how is it affecting the society in which they live? Is there anyway which the couple would be forgiven for their crimes? I am genuinely interested in Islam and its teachings on various topics. I would greatly appreciate your response and I hope that my questions will not insult you, or come across as criticism of Islam. Thank you Answer: No question can be insulting. You wrote: "If a couple who have the genuine intention of being married in the future are involved in sexual relations outside of marriage, are they still in violation of the rule?" The answer is yes, this is still violation of the rule and having genuine intention to get married does not make any difference. I think the main issue is this phrase: "a couple who have the genuine intention of being married in the future". If the couple really want to get married then why should they postpone it for future, in particular if they find it difficult to control their desires? Getting married does not imply that the couple should immediately start living together independently. If anything like financial issues, job, etc... is seen as a barrier then the couple may agree to postpone their joint life for an appropriate time in the future. For example they can each still live with their parents (or on their own, which ever applies) while being married. This allows them to have sexual intimacy without violating any rules of Islam. There should be no reason why this type of arrangement cannot be made. If postponing the marriage is because of reasons like 'making sure they are good for each other first', or 'difficulty of discussing the marriage with the parents', etc... then I hope you appreciate that for the same reasons having a sexual relationship can be harmful to the couple and the society around them. You wrote: "if none outside of the couple knows about their relationship, or the fact that they are having a sexual relationship, how is it affecting the society in which they live?" Firstly, affecting the society is not the only reason that fornication is illegal in Abrahamic religions. Islam promotes a God fearing and pious life for individuals and part of this will be achieved simply by submitting to and obeying God's rules. Having said that, the very fact that no one outside the couple knows about it is what makes it harmful for the society. The society that Islam promotes is one within which there are no secret relationships as such. Human relationship is a very complex phenomenon and keeping these kinds of relationships as secret does affect the couple in the first place and also contributes towards disorder in the society. Like any other legal system there are certain borderlines and rules that should be in place in order to keep the society intact in terms of its values. If I can drive and if I genuinely intend to get my driving license, does this justify me to drive without license? If I pick up milk from a shop and realise I haven't brought enough money with myself, can I simply hide it and take it out, intending genuinely to pay for it when I am back tomorrow? It is exactly when people attempt to cross borderlines like these that the society starts to get loose in terms of its general morals. Another point worth of mentioning is that as God's servants we are asked to obey the rules that are set by the Almighty. All these rules are for our own benefit, if for any reason we cannot fully understand the benefit of a rule that is explicitly given by God, this does not entitle us to violate that rule. You wrote: "is there anyway which the couple would be forgiven for their crimes?" Like any other sins (what I think you really meant by the word crime), true and whole hearted repentance is the only way to be forgiven. God has promised us that He forgives any sin after true and timely repentance. Abdullah Rahim January 7, 2008