More on Divorce... I thank you for your honest and prompt response. I will answer your questions, one at a time:- 1- Why did you pronounce three divorces at a time and not just one? I understood that this was normal practice under the laws of Pakistan. The divorce deed was repared for me by a lawyer. I had no idea and still have no idea about legalities in divorce cases. 2- please also let me know when was the child born and when did you find out about his birth? The child was born in September 98. I found out around October 14~16th, which was a week after the divorce papers were signed by me. The papers were received at my wife's parents house on October 20th. 3- Why was his birth kept hidden from you (if it was)? Initially I found out via email from my wife that she was expecting. This was in June~July 1998. Then I was told by her via email in end of August that she was not expecting and she had been just joking. I assumed this to be the case, and just forgot about the whole thing. We did not communicate with each other after this until October when I asked her through email if I should know anything and if she had any reason that we should not be divorced. To this, she replied that she wanted the divorce and I should let her know when the papers are ready so that she can tell me where to send them. I did not hear from her again. Then going on the previous emails, I dispatched the papers to her parents house. I do not know why she hid the birth from me, and then later decided to tell me. But she thinks that it is because she did want to divorce and did not want a custody battle to start between us because of the child. She changed her mind after she gave birth and started thinking that the child deserved to have both parents in his life. 4 - sincerely think that the differences among the two of you can be permanently resolved? We are both very stubborn and self opinionated, however, I am very sure that we still Love each other, and we can work out our differences to a great extent, simply because I feel that we are better parents than we are individuals. 5 - Does your wife think so too? I believe that she wants very much to work out our differences and dedicate our lives for protecting our small family. However, she feels that she can not be fully dependent on me for herself, and she feels that I can be a good parent and we can learn to trust each other. Reply It is an extremely sorry state that we - Muslims - are unaware of the directives of our Shari`ah to such an extent that even most of our legal experts have started drafting legal papers that are in direct conflict with these directives. In view of the answers given, I would like to tell you that there are more than two opinions among the various Muslim schools regarding the position of the divorce that you have pronounced. The classical and most modern Hanafis, for instance, will give no exception and will stress that the three divorces be implemented, thereby disallowing the husband to take his wife back during iddah (for the definition of iddah, you are requested to refer back to my other response ) or to re-marry her after the expiry of the iddah. The Ahl-e-hadith, are likely to implement one divorce, allowing the husband to take his wife back, within the period of the iddah, and to re-marry the woman, if she consents, after this period. The Shiites are likely to give an opinion that is even different. In these circumstances, it becomes very confusing for a common Muslim to make up his mind, as one school permits the man and the woman to live as man and wife while in the eyes of the other, the relationship is strictly forbidden and unlawful. I would therefore, suggest that you should either take your case to any one of the established schools of Muslim fiqh and do strictly as they tell you to and then live your life accordingly without asking for the opinion of any other school. Or you may leave the whole matter to the law of the land and accept the decision that is given by the court. Moreover, you may even decide for yourself, in the light of my explanation in the referred (previous) reply to a similar question as to whether your decision should be considered as three cases of divorcing your wife or just one. Even in this case, once you have taken the decision which you in your sincere opinion understand to be the correct one, I would recommend that then you should not discuss your decision with anyone else, as that is only likely to confuse you. In case, you do not want to do so, and still want my opinion on the issue, I would then stress that I be given the AUTHORITY not just to give my opinion, but to give a DECISION regarding the matter as I see it in the light of the Shari`ah and the related decisions given of the Prophet (pbuh) and his companions (ra). This means that you as well as your wife shall give a declaration to the effect that whatever decision I give shall be acceptable to you and you shall NOT refer your case to anyone else, after that. I hope that you shall appreciate the importance and significance of the matter as well as the condition that I am imposing to give my opinion. In case the condition is not acceptable to you or your wife, then I am afraid that I will have to refrain from giving any opinion regarding the implementation of three divorces or one (or none). Even in that case, I would be more than willing to explain the directives of the Shari`ah to you, but shall not give my opinion in this particular case. I do hope that you and your wife shall appreciate that the condition that I impose is only to save the two of you from any legal problems and confusions in future. Regards The Learner