Title: Istikharah & Marriage Question: I have known a girl for the past couple of years and now I want to marry her. When I told my father about it he said that his decision will depend on Istikhara . He asked a person to do Istikhara for him and that person after doing the Istikhara told my father that I should NOT marry that girl. Now my father is against this marriage. The girl is a Muslim and is everything that I have always wanted in a wife. My father has told me to leave that girl immediately. I am in a terrible situation. I do not want to do anything against my parent's wishes but I also do not want to leave that girl for no particular reason. What I want to know is, how legitimate are Istikharas and is it necessary to obey the result of the Istikhara . What basically my father wants me to do is deceive that girl because I have already told her that I will marry her. I cannot break anyone's heart. I will really appreciate it if you would answer my question and if possible give me the name of a book or a Qur'anic verse in which this matter is discussed. Answer: As your letter seems to require an urgent response, a short reply to your question follows. A detailed response shall insha'Allah be given, if you so require. " Istikhara " really means asking God for " Khair " or good. It does not necessarily follow that each " Istikhara " or prayer for good shall be followed by a dream. A person, under all circumstances, should pray to God to provide him with the good of both the worlds. Istikhara is, in fact, such a supplication taught by the Prophet (pbuh). The wordings of the supplication of Istikhara also support my point of view. Unless the person who actually has to take the decision (which in this case is you), is satisfied that he should or should not take a particular decision, the decision should not be taken on the satisfaction of someone else. In other words, you are not religiously obliged or bound by the Shari`ah to act according to the satisfaction of the Istikhara of your father's friend. Obviously, it is highly recommended that you should try your utmost to change your father's mind (if you have decided to marry the lady). However, even if you do not succeed in changing your father's mind, Islam does not prohibit you from marrying the girl of your choice. The issue does not pertain directly to the Qur'an , and therefore I am afraid, no relevant verses can be cited for or against it. 20 th November 1998