In life, as we are given choice, we tend to make lots of mistakes. Sometimes these mistakes are minor infractions that do little harm. Other times we commit major blunders that heap tremendous guilt upon our shoulders, weighting down our souls. We are human and are prone to having lapses in our judgment, even though sometimes we actually know the right course of action to take. However, you seem to have achieved some peace of mind by reaching out to the Almighty. I can assure you this is the best decision you have made. It is true that God is Ever-Forgiving, even in the gravest of situations, yet you have to remember that you have a tremendous responsibility as to what you do with this from now on. [1] You can take this unfortunate situation and gear yourself in a positive direction or remain grim, wallowing in sadness. Again, the choice lies in your hands. It seems that God has answered you and soothed your heart regarding this issue now you must reply with how you conduct the rest of your life. This situation occurred recently and naturally will have a greater affect on you now. However, I have several suggestions that will insha'Allah help. In the first place you need to come to the realization that this relationship will never develop into anything healthy, as it seems so obvious from what you have indicated. Unless the man returns with truth and sincerity in his heart then I see no reason for you to maintain the illusion that anything will come out of that incident with him. After you have truly accepted this fact you should allow yourself a grieving period. Indeed we often need to give ourselves time to properly deal with situations that has touched us emotionally. We need to accept that we made a mistake, come to terms with the reality of the situation and forgive ourselves. Eventually, after giving ourselves appropriate time, we need to work towards the betterment of ourselves. This includes spirituality that leads to a better relationship with the Lord, a more self-aware personality with a sharper mind for making the right choices and the realization that mistakes will be made but learned from. Then we must find ourselves living a positive life to the best of our ability. We should direct our energies towards things that keep us busy and happy. Allowing one's self to be idol will result in haunting thoughts. This may happen but we should remember that at this point these thoughts are merely an echo of an event; this too will fade away. I pray that all the choices you make in your life will be based on your will to remain positive and steadfast in Islam. I understand things are hard now but this pain you are enduring will subside. Time will heal. Lastly, I cannot emphasize the relationship you should build with the Almighty. That, before anything I suggested, is most important and it seems that you have set yourself on that track. Look ahead, God indeed is the light of the heavens and the earth. I hope I have clarified the issue. God knows best. Ronnie Hassan February 11, 2004 [1] Will God Give me a Second Chance? Answer published by Ronnie Hassan