Title: Interpretations of Dreams After Istikhara Question: I have been discussing marriage with a man I have known for over a year. We have had many complications due to the fact that he has an ex-wife and 2 children. They are fighting for custody of the children through the courts. He used to be very kind and dependable and I used to believe that his intentions towards were me honourable and that once he had resolved all the issues with his ex-wife and children, that he would marry me. However, in the last 3 months or so, his behaviour towards me has changed in a very negative manner. He now says that although he does want to marry me, but he doesn't know what the future holds for us. He says that we need time to adjust and determine how I will interact with his young children. I can understand that but his behaviour has become very suspicious and he has created considerable distance between us in the sense that, I have very little contact with him and he no longer keeps me updated with what is happening in his life. He is treating me more like an acquaintance than a potential wife (as he used to confide in me about everything). This has resulted in me becoming very insecure and unsure about whether he still wants to marry me or has changed his mind, but can't find the courage to tell me so. In my confusion, I turned to Allah for guidance and performed Salaat Istikhara. I had a dream which I asked an Imaam I know and have much faith in, (and who knows the full history of the problems I have been having with this man and has been advising me), to interpret it for me. He advised that although there seemed to be some deception involved, it was not very serious and that I should be patient and wait until the man has finalised the custody issues relating to his children. Friends advised me that I should seek a second opinion on my Istikhara so as to be sure. I was given a number of another Moulana who I have never spoken to before. I called this Moulan and explained to him in brief, the history to my situation. I than described the same dream to him and he has advised me that this man is not to be trusted and that my marriage to him would always have problems and difficulties. Now I am totally confused as to what I should do. I know that I care for this man and want him as my husband, but his suspicious behaviour has made me feel like I can't trust him despite the fact that he tells me that his intentions towards me are honourable and that things will be more smooth rolling for us once the issues with his children and divorce have been settled. What course does one take when the same Istikhara dream has been interpreted in such contradictory ways? Should I be patient and wait or should I move on with my life and seek another man to marry - even though I don't want to do that? SP UK Answer: I truly empathize with your circumstances and pray that God will smooth this bumpy road for you. Things may seem a bit rough at times but whenever and wherever we turn to the Almighty He will always be there for us. From your question it seems that you have taken every measure to fulfill this communion. One of the most important steps that you have already taken is to reach out to the Almighty. For this I applaud you. However, it should be appreciated that the dua' (i.e. supplication) of Istikharah is a request for guidance from the Lord. It is a prayer for an outcome that is healthy for both your everyday life and your spiritual life, which entails your relationship with God. The centerpiece of this supplication is that whatever the outcome may be you should realize that the Almighty fulfilled what you asked for and the consequence is what He ordained as per your request. In one of our answers we explained the value of Istikharah thus: The value of Istikharah is the same as that of any other supplication for help and guidance. If you closely consider the words of the supplication of Istikharah , you shall see that it does not specifically ask for any positive or negative 'indications' towards the right decision, but, on the contrary, it generally seeks God's guidance and help in taking the decision which is best suited for us from the perspective of this life as well as that of the hereafter. [1] Far too often, typically because of our desperation, we forget the beauty in asking God's assistance and we begin to hunt for clues. We try to find hints in murky and abstract things that really have nothing to do with the circumstances. Our investigative minds overcome our reliance on God and the wisdom that He's bestowed upon us. We lose sight. We can stop this from happening to us, first by trusting in God and that He will answer our prayers. Second, by applying our intellect and trying to take a course of action, that is wisest for the situation, it will help us arrive at a better answer. Common sense is a must. Finally, whatever the outcome, you must accept it as being from the Lord, even if at the time it produces results you are not happy with. As for anyone interpreting your dreams I would advise that you put no weight to it. Indeed God may give you a sign in a dream, or some other way, but when you open these things up to interpretation that is what you will get. I suggest that you give the interpretation no significance and, in such circumstances in which morals are not concerned, go with the gut feeling God has given you. You know what the right course of action is. Do it. May the Lord guide in all your endeavors in life and have mercy on you. I hope I have clarified the issue. God knows best Ronnie Hassan January 19, 2004 [1] The Value of Istikharah