Title: Hymen Restoration Question: 3 years ago, I jumped from the board at the swimming pool and lost my membrane and I was a virgin. After that I got into a relationship that I regret every single second of my life. I feel deep remorse and this terrible violation of God's rules has become a haunting ghost and I don't even know how to get rid of it. I made towba and I'm now trying to do everything possible to might make Allah forgive me. Losing my membrane was not because of that relationship, I'd already had the accident earlier. I underwent a hymen restoration operation which I was planning to go for anyway. I feel so ashamed of myself and can't imagine myself getting married to a man who would think I'm chaste. If a righteous man asked me for marriage, would I have to tell him everything? Shall I get married or ... just live with that truth. Please help ... I haven't slept for a year Answer: Your realization of the wrong you committed is commendable not just because you have understood it but because you have turned to God for repentance. It is a blessing when one faces their mistake and is able to confront it and know their error. The next step in this process is to know that God is forgiving and to trust that if you approach Him correctly you will be forgiven, insha'Allah . Another step one should take is, after this realization, is to forgive the self. Indeed this is one of the most crucial points on the path to better one's self. I urge you to find the will to forgive yourself and continue to remember God in every step of life. The issue of your previous relationship is a very delicate situation. On the one hand you do not want to lie to the person whom trust and love is supposed to last for a lifetime with and nor do you want be seen in the wrong light because you made a mistake in your life. The previous unfortunate relationship should not determine the rest of your life for you. No one is perfect and though some sins are far worse than others, when one realizes them and repents then they should not allow the sin to be the driving force in their lives. As such our sins are ours to bear and allowing others access to them is a personal prerogative. Thus you are not obligated to say anything to anyone, from a religious perspective. In the end this will have to be a deeply thought out decision. Ask the Almighty for help and maintain a relationship with Him and with His will you will be granted the right person. May God be with you and may He bring you peace and happiness. I hope I have clarified the issue. God knows best. Ronnie Hassan March 28, 2005