Title: Holding Hands during Engagement before Contract Question: I'm wondering, if engaged couple are allowed to hold hands before signing the contract, during their engagement period of time? Also, on the engagement day (the engagement which is before signing contracts), if there were rings, is the boy allowed to put the ring on for the girl, and is the girl allowed to put on the ring for the boy? Jazakum Allah Khairun Anonymous New Zealand Answer: We wrote in one of our responses: Engagement between a man and a woman is a social tradition of declaring the intent (and desire) of marriage between two persons. Such tradition is not prohibited by Islam. The mere fact that such tradition is not prohibited by the Shari`ah renders it 'allowed'. Any procedure or method, mutually agreed upon by the two families and considered acceptable by the society may be adopted, provided that this form/procedure does not entail anything contrary to the moral and ethical teachings of Islam. While engagement, per se, cannot be objected to, as it has become a part of the marriage customs in many societies, there are certainly some demeaning practices, which have made inroads into the whole affair and demand corrective measures. Without elaborating on them, I would deal specifically with your questions. It is clear that engagement is not Nikah and, thus, the concerned individuals cannot assume the roles of husband and wife. Therefore, the etiquette of interaction prescribed by Islam for an unrelated man and woman should be observed by them. Also, we know that not every instance of engagement concludes in marriage. In view of this, it becomes vital for the prospective (married) couple, especially the lady, to safeguard their chastity and refrain from indulging in any activity which has even the remotest possibility of blemishing their reputation or character. Hence, I think it is against the spirit of the teachings of Islam to "hold hands before signing the contract". As for the second part of your question, although the practice takes place in a formal betrothal ceremony in the presence of families, I am not inclined toward calling it appropriate. In my opinion, and I might sound too conservative here, it would be more in keeping with the spirit of Islam if elders from the two families (like mothers or fathers of the boy and girl) do the honors of "ring-slipping". Regards, Razi Allah March 5, 2003