Further Questions on the Misuse of the Right to Divorce... Many thanks for responding to my question on Divorce. You had mentioned that you failed to see the connection between the law related to divorce and exploitation of women. I wish to clarify this aspect and it has very important social aspects attached to it. I have put my key questions in BOLD fonts. Please do not consider it rude at all. I have a great respect and appreciation for your time and efforts in trying to teach the correct Muslim religion to everyone. By exploitation I meant: In order to marry new women, purely for sexual gratification a lot of men end up divorcing their wives and these women suffer. They end up divorcing their wives because they would not accept the new woman in their husband's life. IS IT FAIR? The women whom these men marry often belong to poor families. HAVE YOU SEEN AROUND YOU THAT MOST MEN WHO HAVE MUTIPLE WIVES MARRIED MORE THAN ONE JUST TO SUPPORT HER AND HER CHILDREN? In one of your earlier responses to some question you said that the purpose of multiple marriage is to help support a woman and her kids. I do understand the full import of Triple talaq. I know that it is not instantaneous talaq but it is an easier talaq for men than women. Do you agree??? IF QURAN TREATS MEN AND WOMEN EQUALLY WHY IS IT EASIER FOR MEN TO DIVORCE THEIR WOMEN AS COMPARED TO WOMEN TO DIVORCE MEN? I have seen a lot of cases in India where a non-Muslim converted to Muslim just to get the right to marry more women and divorce their previous wives. The right of multiple marriages and easier talaq has made the lives of Muslim women a virtual prison and hell in a lot of cases. And in the Muslim community rich men marry a lot of young women spoiling the lives of those women and themselves having fun. If any wife objects or if there is a financial difficulty they divorce some of their wives. THIS IS how the EXPLOITATION of women takes place. I also agree with you that such men do it not with the support of Quran but commit a grave sin, which an Islamic state can punish. Do you think it is easy to identify and punish such men? Is it being done so in any Islamic state? Has it ever been done so on a large scale? Multiple marraige law and easy talaq for men has become a legal and religious shield for adulterous men. I further wish to point out that I do not have any doubts about the wisdom of the Prophet who gave these laws. These laws were valid at that point of time because the number of women was far more than men (lots of men died in continued violence). And also the intent of these laws was for smooth running of society and sharing a collective responsibility. But now the times have drastically changed. DO YOU THINK THAT THESE LAWS SHOULD STILL BE VALID? Please enlighten me on the above issues. Thanking You Sincerely Pankaj Gupta Reply Your questions/comments cover different aspects of the issue under consideration. I shall try to cover all these aspects separately, so that none of these aspects is missed out. You write: In order to marry new women, purely for sexual gratification a lot of men end up divorcing their wives and these women suffer. They end up divorcing their wives because they would not accept the new woman in their husband's life. IS IT FAIR? Keeping all Islamic teachings aside, first of all let us consider the problem from a purely human perspective. I am sure you would agree that when an already married person - whether a man or a woman - for whatever reasons, has ultimately resolved and decided to marry another person, legislations are generally the most ineffective means of dissuading him/her from carrying out the decision. Under the circumstances, a legislation restricting the number of marriages to one would either result in divorce for the first marriage or, if that is not possible, in infidelity. Another solution that some of the societies have tried is to pass anti-divorce laws [1] , however, contrary to the legislators' expectations, such laws have had a negative effect on the very institution of marriage itself. Thus, legislations effecting restriction on the number of marriages as well as those which are anti-divorce in their nature, which apparently were implemented to safeguard against the exploitation of women have generally not only failed in achieving their desired goals but have actually gone against these goals. It is, therefore, that Islam has not passed any legislation for or against polygamy. The only directive of Islam, which is remotely related to the institution of polygamy, is where the Qur'an has mentioned the duty of the society toward the orphans and the widows in the society. I would suggest that while analyzing the directives of Islam regarding the family structure, especially the lack of any direct and positive directives for or against polygamy, the ultimate goals of the directives should be kept in mind. The following are some of the major objectives that Islam wants to achieve through it social teachings: Development of a social environment that is conducive to the promotion of chastity and Hayaa [2] among individuals; Stability of the family organization, which includes protecting the family from breaking-up, as far as possible, yet keeps the doors for separation between the man and the woman open, as a last resort against ruining the lives of the individuals in question; and Safeguarding against exploitation of men as well as women; Keeping the above explanation in perspective, my answer to your question: "IS IT FAIR?", is that it is generally NOT fair on the part of the man to marry a second wife, merely for the purpose of seeking variety in his sex life. However, there does not seem to be much of a legislative option available, which would effectively hinder a man from taking a second wife and yet achieve the objectives stipulated above. In my opinion, a more effective way of safeguarding against such injustices would be to educate the individuals regarding their moral, spiritual and religious obligations toward their wives, in particular, and families, in general. It should be kept in mind that Islam has greatly stressed this particular aspect in its teachings. It is, however, a tragedy that the Muslims ignore these aspects of Islam and are happy at concentrating merely on its legislative aspects. You write: HAVE YOU SEEN AROUND YOU THAT MOST MEN WHO HAVE MUTIPLE WIVES MARRIED MORE THAN ONE JUST TO SUPPORT HER AND HER CHILDREN? In one of your earlier responses to some question you said that the purpose of multiple marriage is to help support a woman and her kids. I submit that this is generally not the case. However the reason for this deviation is what I have mentioned in my last paragraph. It should, nevertheless, be noted that an Islamic state - keeping the ultimate objectives of the social teachings of Islam in perspective - may, if it deems fit, make it mandatory for a person to get a permission from a court of law before for taking a second wife. The court may grant such permission only in cases where it is satisfied that a genuine social or individual need for such a second marriage exists. Although such legislation may be promulgated in an Islamic state, yet its repercussions on the family structure as well the morality of the individuals should be adequately analyzed before it is implemented. You write: IF QURAN TREATS MEN AND WOMEN EQUALLY WHY IS IT EASIER FOR MEN TO DIVORCE THEIR WOMEN AS COMPARED TO WOMEN TO DIVORCE MEN? The Qur'an does indeed consider men and women to be equals as human beings. However, this does not imply that Islam considers husbands and wives to be equals. Husbands and wives, in view of their different responsibilities are given different rights, privileges and positions. In this case the basic principle on which Islam has based its directives is not 'equality', on the contrary, it is 'justice'. The husband, according to Islam, is the head of the family organization, and like the head of an organization is given some prior rights, so that he is in a better position to fulfill the responsibility that Islam has placed on his shoulder. One such right is to be in a position to directly and personally decide and declare about the dissolution of the family organization through divorce. To safeguard the family organization against instability, Islam has given this right only to one of the two parties - i.e. the husband. This, however, does not mean that a woman has no say in the process of such dissolution of the family organization. It only implies that a woman cannot directly and personally decide and declare such dissolution. She can ask her husband for such dissolution and in case of his refusal to comply, she can go to a court of law. Keeping the above explanation in view, the answer to your question is that to give the family organization more stability, Islam has restricted the right to personally decide and declare about the dissolution of the family organization to only the head of the family. You write: I also agree with you that such men do it not with the support of Qur'an but commit a grave sin, which an Islamic state can punish. Do you think it is easy to identify and punish such men? Is it being done so in any Islamic state? Has it ever been done so on a large scale? Multiple marriage law and easy talaq for men has become a legal and religious shield for adulterous men. I do agree with you that crimes of such nature are not easily identifiable. This, it seems, is precisely the reason why mere legislations cannot fully eliminate exploitation of the weak in a society. I am of the opinion that the rights of the weaker classes in the society are not as strongly secured by legislations as by moral and ethical training of the society, in general. Islam, as you would be well aware of, is not merely a legislation. It also provides a complete ideological system of accountability and responsibility and develops all its directives on this system of accountability and responsibility. The misuse of Islamic directives is primarily due to ignoring the spiritual and ideological aspects of the Islamic directives and legislations. Islam would have absolutely no objections on passing any legislations that would ensure compliance with Islamic directives in letter and spirit. Passing such legislations is the duty of the contemporary Muslim states. You write: I further wish to point out that I do not have any doubts about the wisdom of the Prophet who gave these laws. These laws were valid at that point of time because the number of women was far more than men (lots of men died in continued violence). And also the intent of these laws was for smooth running of society and sharing a collective responsibility. But now the times have drastically changed. DO YOU THINK THAT THESE LAWS SHOULD STILL BE VALID? I understand that in this paragraph the phrase 'these laws' refers to the multiple marriage 'laws'. I would once again stress that Islam has not given any directives for or against multiple marriages. Islam has only referred to a situation in a society where a person should try to make his contribution in solving a grave problem faced by that society. The directive of the Qur'an, if properly construed is only to the effect that if a society or some individuals are faced with a grave problem, all Muslims who can be of any help should not stay aloof of the situation and should try to give his best. Under these circumstances, if a person feels that a second marriage would help him in contributing more effectively, the Qur'an tells him to marry a second wife for the purpose. If such situations cannot arise in contemporary societies, then the mere absence of such situations shall reduce the related directive of the Qur'an to redundancy. Nevertheless, it should be kept in mind that this does not mean that any of the laws of the Qur'an needs to be changed, as the matter does not pertain to any law of the Qur'an. The Qur'an neither promotes nor prohibits polygamy. However, it does give some directives to a person, who has taken a second wife - as was a common practice in the society in which the Qur'an was revealed. I hope this helps. In case any aspect of your question remains unanswered, please feel free in writing back to me at your own convenience. May the Almighty guide us all to the path of His liking. My fondest regards to you and those around you. The Learner [1] All such laws that prohibit or discourage the incidence of divorce. [2] Hayaa is one of the basic values that Islam wants to inculcate among its adherents. Due to the lack of an accurate synonymous in the English language, I have used the Arabic word, which, over here, implies 'the suppression of sexual interaction within certain prescribed limits and the avoidance of instigating sexual attraction or being instigated by a sexual attraction beyond those limits".