Your question truly reflects your concern for the great blessing you have: A heart full of faith and your earnestness to fortify it. This indeed is a cherished possession, for which you cannot thank God enough. Please do not allow Satan to bog you down by inciting you to believe that there is some fundamental flaw in you. Fluctuation in faith is an occurrence as natural as breathing and I, being a very sinful mortal, am no exception. We humans cannot remain in one state indefinitely. It is very natural for anyone to have his/her highs and lows. The vicissitudes of life are shared by all of us. There are times when the joys and thrills of life enliven us, while at others, tribulations and miseries just don't let up and enervate us both emotionally and physically. We have our weaker moments, wherein we knowingly or inadvertently err, and we have our finer moments when we simply step on Satan's hands imploring us to fall in his trap. There is a general tendency amongst us to show gratitude and thus feel close to God when He is actually testing us with good times and to turn away from Him when He tests us with trying times. The Quran says: There are those who worship God from a threshold [of faith]. Thus they are content only if they are blessed with good, while if an ordeal befalls them they turn away [from faith]. They are the ones who are losers in this world as well as the hereafter. ( Al-Hajj 22: 11) And then we are extremely forgetful. This beautiful planet of ours has this uncanny ability to draw and absorb us completely, often at the expense of forgetting HIM. The fact is that we all go through such experiences and yet there are those who do not give way to despondency realizing that it is the most effective weapon of Satan. The Prophet (sws) is reported to have said: Narrated 'Abdullah: The Prophet drew a square and then drew a line in the middle of it and let it extend outside the square and then drew several small lines attached to that central line, and said, "This is the human being, and this, (the square) in his lease of life, encircles him from all sides (or has encircled him), and this (line), which is outside (the square), is his hope, and these small lines are the calamities and troubles (which may befall him), and if one misses him, an-other will snap (i.e. overtake) him, and if the other misses him, a third will snap (i.e. overtake) him." (Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 76, Number 426) So you see it is a continual battle for every one and HE does not require us to come out of this battle clear of all lesions, but that we have, at least, attempted to wash and dress them up. Remember that HE is not looking for perfection. HE is looking for, in case of trips, an oft-returning heart that would be graciously welcomed by the oft-Forgiving, the Merciful. I shall very humbly suggest some actions that can be of help: Devote some time of your day to read and ponder over His revelations. Think about His creations, the magnificence and splendor with which He has informed our surroundings and the extraordinary importance of ordinary things. Sometimes, even a child's smile can bridge the seemingly unbridgeable gap between you and Him. Spend a significant portion of your time with pious and God-fearing people. Those who are self-effacing and keep away from vanities. Memorize the supplications of the Prophet (pbuh) and try to recite them at appropriate times of the day. Try to concentrate on the meaning of the verses you recite in your prayers. We cannot mourn enough the loss of meaning. Gradually memorize new verses along with their meaning, especially those that are more admonitory in nature. Involve yourself in supererogatory acts of worship such as naf'l prayers or spending in the way of God or helping the needy by being actively involved in the process. Whenever you get an opportunity, be part of a funeral procession. Often witnessing this unavoidable reality helps in remembering Him. I hope and pray that any one or a combination of the above mentioned points, some of which can be added to your daily regimen, shall help strengthen your Iman and closeness to the Almighty. My prayers are with you. Regards, Razi Allah February 22, 2003 Answer published by Razi Allah Lone