Title: Extra Marital Interest Question: How do you describe an interest which goes beyond a platonic relationship between a married man/woman and another woman/man? Can this extra marital interest be developed by perfectly harmonious and happy couples too? How can such feelings be curbed, once they are existent? Sheikha United Arab Emirates Answer: A wedded couple has rights over each other by virtue of a marital arrangement. The list of these rights need not be defined since everyone knows about these. When these rights are enjoyed outside marital bonds, it is termed extra marital relationship. It is clear that the 'emotions of love' which should be cherished for a spouse must not be lavished on someone else. You ask: Can this extra marital interest be developed by perfectly harmonious and happy couples too? My response to this question is neither in the affirmative nor negative. If norms of correct behavior are not observed, there is a chance that a happy couple may lose sight of the responsibilities and commitment they have towards each other and towards God. This is why everyone should be careful that they observe the limits with people outside the realms of marriage. You ask: How can such feelings be curbed, once they are existent? This is the most difficult question to respond to, without knowing the actual circumstances of the people involved. The best thing to do is to avoid seeing the person with whom, unfortunately, such relationship has been developed. Once this sort of relationship is developed, it is really hard to observe limits later on. Therefore, there is utmost need to finish every sort of contact. With the passage of time, one will also be able to get that person out of mind. Spending time studying the Word of God and praying to Him will be of primary help in this regard. We should remember that there is God above who loves us and wants us to live a modest life. Jhangeer Hanif January 18, 2004