Title: Explaining Adherence to the Directives of Islam to non-Muslim Parents Question: assalamu alaeikum . I reverted to Islam 8 weeks ago alhamdulillah . I have been wearing hijab since i reverted and I'm very comfortable wearing it. My parents came to visit me last week and I told them I was a Muslim. My dad was ok and didn't say much he even volunteered to read some of my books on Islam. The problem is my mother. Her first reaction was why do you have to wear that on your head???? I know why I wear Hijab ... I am a Muslim therefore I must look like a Muslim etc and well if i didn't I'd look like I've always looked. How on earth do I have to explain to my mother this though. She is going to be very difficult and I am not going to argue with her. she is going to say all the your being oppressed argument as we've all heard before and I just want some good advice on how to emmm... well tell her that I'm me this is who I am... my decision... my doing... no one has brain washed me or anything. Insha'Allah you will be able to help. wassalam a Answer: First of all, I would suggest that rather than argue with your parents, you should tackle the problem with love, affection and respect. The resolution of every problem does not lie in convincing the other of our arguments; sometimes the problems are more suitably resolved by convincing others that, with all our differences, we still love and respect them with all our heart and soul. This is especially the case with our parents. In most of the cases, a suitable response to the criticisms of our parents may only be a comforting smile. Secondly, I would suggest that even when arguments are to be given, you should give arguments only from the sources, which are held in any esteem by our addressees. For instance, if your parents ascribe to the Christian religion, you should try to present arguments, which are based primarily on the scriptures believed to be based on Divine revelation by the Christians. We know that all the Abrahamic religions recommend that women should avoid displaying themselves and refrain from attracting others towards them. Thus, 1Corinthians 11: 6 says: For if a woman does not cover her head, let her also have her hair cut off; but if it is disgraceful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, let her cover her head. The verse clearly disapproves a woman from going in the public without her head covered. Explaining this verse, Albert Barnes in his commentary on the New Testament writes: Verse 6. For if the woman be not covered. If her head be not covered with a veil. Let her also be shorn. Let her long hair be cut off. Let her lay aside all the usual and proper indications of her sex and rank in life. If it is done in one respect, it may with the same propriety be done in all. See Note above. But if it be a shame, etc. If custom, nature, and habit; if the common and usual feelings and views among men would pronounce this to be a shame, the other would be pronounced to be a shame also by the same custom and common sense of men. Let her be covered. With a veil. Let her wear the customary attire indicative of modesty and a sense of subordination. Let her not lay this aside even on any pretence of religion. Adam Clarke, in his commentary on the Bible, explains the verse as: Verse 6. For if the woman be not covered] If she will not wear a veil in the public assemblies, let her be shorn-let her carry a public badge of infamy: but if it be a shame-if to be shorn or shaven would appear, as it must, a badge of infamy, then let her be covered-let her by all means wear a veil. Even in mourning it was considered disgraceful to be obliged to shear off the hair; and lest they should lose this ornament of their heads In the explanation of the preceding verse, Adam Clarke has written: The only difference marked by the apostle was, the man had his head uncovered, because he was the representative of Christ; the woman had hers covered, because she was placed by the order of God in a state of subjection to the man, and because it was a custom, both among the Greeks and Romans, and among the Jews an express law, that no woman should be seen abroad without a veil. This was, and is, a common custom through all the east, and none but public prostitutes go without veils. And if a woman should appear in public without a veil, she would dishonor her head-her husband. And she must appear like to those women who had their hair shorn off as the punishment of whoredom, or adultery. Clement of Alexandria, in Chapter 11 of Book 2 of his Paedagogus writes: For neither is it seemly for the clothes to be above the knee, as they say was the case with the Lacedaemonian virgins; nor is it becoming for any part of a woman to be exposed. Though you may with great propriety use the language addressed to him who said, "Your arm is beautiful; yes, but it is not for the public gaze. Your thighs are beautiful; but, was the reply, for my husband alone. And your face is comely. Yes; but only for him who has married me." But I do not wish chaste women to afford cause for such praises to those who, by praises, hunt after grounds of censure; and not only because it is prohibited to expose the ankle, but because it has also been enjoined that the head should be veiled and the face covered; for it is a wicked thing for beauty to be a snare to men. Nor is it seemly for a woman to wish to make herself conspicuous, by using a purple veil. There are innumerable similar references in the writings of the classical Christian scholars, which further substantiate the issue under consideration. We should remember that Hayaa and modesty is the common feature of all the Abrahamic religions. It is not specific to Islam, as is generally believed. In view of this fact, I would consider it more prudent to present as a common value of all the Abrahamic religions, rather than as one specific to Islam. I hope this helps. Regards, Moiz Amjad December 16, 2001