Duties of a Muslim Wife…
Question
What exactly are the duties of a Muslim wife? It is generally believed that doing all the household chores herself, even if the husband can afford to hire someone for them, is a FARDH [1] for her. If the husband hires someone, it is his " Ihsaan [2] ". Also, spending time with the children and physically taking care for them is her responsibility, and the father is only responsible for providing worldly goods for them. If the children are equally both parents' responsibility, as I read on your site, why is the mother solely held responsible for the " tarbiyyat " [3] of the children? Whereas I have heard from one of my friends that a wife can even ask to be paid for maintaining the household, or feeding the children herself. Most of the husbands that I have spoken to (in my relatives) do not allow their wives to work only because they think they would be neglecting their FARDH of taking care of the household. I, as a woman, do not mind taking care of the household, but I would like to know if it is a FARDH or NAF'L [4] . Please clarify the duties of a Muslim wife (and husband) in detail. Wherever possible, please give relevant references from the Holy Qur'an & Sunnah .
Answer
The Shari`ah has not specifically outlined the rights and the duties of husbands and wives. We, therefore cannot say that performing any duties, household or otherwise is obligatory ( fardh ) for a woman, as a wife. Only a few duties of husband and wife have been mentioned in the Shari`ah . For instance, the Shari`ah has put the responsibility of earning for the household on the husband. It has made the husband responsible for the general well being of the household. It tells us that every person shall be held answerable for all those who were given in his charge and upon whom he/she was given legal and moral authority. Thus, a man, as the head of the family unit shall be held responsible for the moral and general well being of all the members of the family, while a woman, as a mother, shall be held responsible for the moral and general well being of her children. Keeping the above explanation in mind, it may be derived that because a husband has been made responsible for the general physical, material and moral well being of the family, the wife - being not only the very basis of the family but also being second in command in the family organization - should wholeheartedly help the husband in fulfilling this responsibility. That is exactly the reason why the Qur'an has said that virtuous women, realizing this responsibility that has been put on the husbands' shoulders, help them by adopting an attitude of obedience toward him. Thus, the only obligation on a woman, as a wife, is to help and assist the man in fulfilling his obligation of taking care of the general well being of the household. All other duties are contingent upon external conditions. A well to do person should be courteous enough to relieve his wife of all such burdensome chores, from which he can afford to relieve her. While, on the other hand, a virtuous woman should do all that she can to make the household a pleasant place for all its members. It is not possible to specify a list of rights and duties for the husband and wife because of the innumerable situational factors that distinguish each household from the other. Each household evolves its own set of particular rights and duties for the husband and the wife. 8 th June 1999 [1] That is 'obligation'. [2] That is 'a favor granted'. [3] upbringing & moral education. [4] Though not an obligation, yet a recommended thing to do. Answer published by Moiz Amjad
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