Topic Under Discussion Beating Wives... Question Questionfrom Pakistan I have read what is there at your site concerning beating wives. Please elaborate on it as to what constitutes disobedience and if the husband is permitted to beat his wife frequently just to keep her in line. Is the husband allowed to whip his wife? Is that under light beating? Does a woman have any say or right to say no in sexual matters? Is she allowed to say no to her husband in bed? Answer In my previous reply to the question regarding the same issue, I had written: It is in this context that the husbands, for the purpose of fulfilling the responsibility placed on their shoulders, are advised to admonish their wives if they feel that their wives refuse to be obedient to them and thereby hinder them in fulfilling the responsibility that has been placed on them. And: We may determine in the light of the referred verse of the Qur'an that unless the matter is of the nature of " Nushooz " or refusal to accept the position of the other and thus may ultimately result in the breaking of the household, the man should not resort to beating. Obviously, in the stages of admonition and restrain from conjugal relations, the matter shall be brought under extensive discussion and views shall be exchanged thoroughly. Seen in this perspective, the referred verse has actually provided a safeguard for women against domestic abuse and beating. Men, in other words, have been restrained from resorting to any kind of physical punishment, unless it is determined that the matter is one of " Nushooz ". They are not allowed to take any such action on the basis of any trivial difference of opinion. And then, in my second letter on the same subject, I had written: The Arabic word " Nushooz " does not imply a simple case of disobedience, it actually implies refusal to accept and acknowledge the position of another person. Keeping this in view, obviously, a woman's difference with her husband in a particular opinion or an argument between a husband and a wife on any issue are not cases of " Nushooz ". If you would consider my words closely, you shall see that I have not used the word disobedience. As I have already stated, the word used by the Qur'an, means refusal to be obedient or refusal to accept authority of a position, which demands such authority. I, therefore think that your first question regarding what constitutes disobedience does not apply in this case. Even if there can be no objective criteria as to what exactly constitutes disobedience, I do think that a case where a person refuses to be obedient is not all that subjective. According to the Qur'an, this measure should only be adopted, where the husband feels that a correction in the attitude of the wife is likely to follow. In other words, it is allowed only as a corrective measure, not a preventive measure. Whipping a woman is not only "not allowed" , it is even against the established moral and ethical standards of a decent and civilized man. In my opinion, if it is brought to the notice of an Islamic state that one of its citizens has whipped his wife, he should be put to the same punishment by the state. A woman, like a man, has all the authority to refuse having sex with her partner at any given instance. However, on the other hand, if a woman adopts an attitude of refusal to fulfill the sexual or other needs of her husband, it may, in certain cases amount to a case of " Nushooz ", or refusal to accept authority. I hope this helps. 17 th May 1998 Answer published by Moiz Amjad Other Discussion(s) related to the Question Further Exchange on 'Beating Wives' - 1 Further Exchange on 'Beating Wives' - 3 Further Exchange on 'Beating Wives' - 4 Further Exchange on 'Beating Wives' - 5 Author's Note on the Preceding Discussion Beating Wives